ceramicheart150's vlogblog

Day 3 of weightlossness

So, today was hard. I am going into my 4th day of this new lifestyle, a brand new strict meal plan and exercising. The first day of the food was great, everything went smoothly, wasn’t hungry, went to bed happy. Since then I feel like I’m bashing my head against a wall. I get through the day until dinner time and then something happens = I don’t feel full. No wait, I am still HUNGRY. Obviously this is an issue for me.

You should all know I have not given into temptation and eaten whatever I’ve wanted, or ANYTHING off plan! I am just unfortunately taking it out on the ones I love and being a total bitch. I won’t even sugar coat it. It’s a struggle to fight myself and try and rationalize that I am just being impulsive, I need to regain control of myself, and remember the main goal of losing weight and living a better life. *sigh* Why is it so hard? Oh because it’s the hardest thing I am facing in my life, because I have to learn to have will power, and because I have lived so long binge eating and have grown into such a routine that is RIDICULOUSLY hard to break.

Also having a somewhat confused and dare I say “unsupportive” surrounding really isn’t helping.  I know I am mad because everyone around me isn’t on the same path as me, and it is very frustrating for me to deal with, but sometimes I feel like they are going to extra mile to do the OPPOSITE of what I am trying to do, by talking about getting pizza and ice cream and Jack In The Box every two minutes.  Maybe it’s my ultimate test to build up enough will power that one day those things wont bug me anymore.  Until then, I am struggling with this.